Of ego and confidence – and why we should focus on service

The other day I participated in a webinar.

It was organised by a forum I’m a member of – a forum where we learn about marketing, and support each other in developing our businesses.

So, the other day we were helping a participant ‘get his mojo back’.

He got stuck in his business – a lot has happened in his life recently.

On top of it he was wondering whether the industry, he had been operating in for 27 years, was still his passion.

He needed some input – a booster session.

Ideas rolled in. Amazing what a small group of dedicated people can come up with.

Many suggestions as to what he could do in his current industry.

It was beautiful to watch his passion coming back, every time another idea was shared.

After all he does know his industry inside out – and there is so much he can do there.

Then – the real issue popped up.

Fear of success.

He was wondering whether it may be ‘tall poppy syndrome’ – a particularly corrosive issue in Australian culture.

The other participants didn’t think so, he’s just too good in what he does – and has been for 27 years.

He agreed.

So, what is it then?

My hunch? It’s systemic.

I see it a lot – people with demonstrable talent, struggling with success, maybe even subconsciously sabotaging themselves through accidents or mistakes.

A cause could be:

Someone in their family history – possibly their father or mother – had the talent and ability to make it to greatness.

However, external circumstances, such as war, poverty or sickness, prevented this from happening.

We rarely think of the effects that such a thing can have, but it makes sense:

If our loved ones did not reach their destination, our own manifestation can cause us to be afraid of success.

Systemic Constellations could quickly bring such a dynamic to light, and help the individual heal, paving the path to success.

The conversation in the webinar then turned towards the ego, and how much of it one could have before it becomes a negative thing.

That’s a hard one.

It sounded like our friend had mistaken ‘being good at something’ as ‘being in the ego’.

So, what is the ego, really?

The Oxford dictionary explains ego as ‘a person’s sense of self-esteem or self-importance’.

I tend to avoid functioning from the ego, as the feeling of self-importance can stand in the way of doing good work and connecting with people.

I find confidence is a better place to be.

This is explained as a ‘feeling that one can rely on someone or something’

When you have confidence, you can still be in service of the client.

I find being ‘in service of the client’ the most important characteristic of being in business.

It takes our personality out of the equation – and leaves the skills we have to speak for themselves.

So, if you are really good at something, and are afraid to share it with the world, you might want to give Systemic Constellations a go.

It could just give you that breakthrough in your business you were looking for.